Reading on the toilet

Another hint from the "a little bit every day adds up" school of language learning. In the same way as I have a book for the train, I have a book for the toilet. It shares the top of the cistern with a fern called Shida-kun and only gets read when I go to the toilet, or more specifically, when I go 大きい方.  Now some people frown on the idea of reading material in the toilet area - the Seinfeldian concept of contamination springs to mind - but I adopt a more pragmatic approach: being a biological entity with a large appetite I am obliged to evacuate my bowels on a daily basis, and in the 5, 10 or 15 minutes this takes I read a few pages of my toilet book. For those few minutes my eyes and brain are prisoners of my alimentary canal and otherwise unoccupied, so I might as well give them something to do. Five minutes a day = 35 minutes a week = 1820 minutes a year = 30 hours of reading. Eat a lot of curry and you could be looking at 60 or 90 hours a year. (You could also be in danger of varicose veins so make sure the book isn't a cliffhanger)

My toilet book is easy to read - deliberately so. I want to be able to get through at least a page a sitting (がじゃん！） I am currently reading いじわるペニス by 内藤　みか. I have only just started, but I can tell you it is kind-of-love story centering on a rent-boy and the woman who buys him. Not exactly Harry Potter, but the lovers' dialogue and earthy expressions were precisely the reasons I selected it - there are some expressions even good friends may feel shy about teaching you. A bit of research reveals that you can download the book onto your mobile phone, or at the very least read the first 5 chapters. Here's a sample from the opening chapter:

由紀哉は今夜も、イかなかった。

（ちょっと、またなの!?　カラダ売ってんだから、ちゃんと最後までセックスするのが、当たり前でしょ!?）

ぽろんとヴァギナから外れてしまった、情けないくらいに縮んだペニスが、どうしようもなく悔しかった。

（なんで勃たないの？　私ってそんなに魅力ない？

Easy to read? Tick.
Everyday expressions I can use? Tick. (Well maybe not everyday)
Interesting subject matter? Tick.

Right - I'm off to the bog.

Comments

[Harvey]

sitting on the toilet too long can give you hemorrhoids.

That's why Japanese style (asian style) squat toilets are better.

Try reading on one of those!!!

Consider yourself linked.

[Will]

I've tried it - my last place had a Japanese style toilet. Squatting and reading is not as relaxing....

And point taken on the health issue :-)

And thanks for the link.

[Chris]

I can spend a good 30 minutes on the toilet with a good book.

[Coal]

Seconding the Emma Freuds issue. Though if you have a family, a "waiting for the bathroom" book may be a good idea! ;-)